Hope

Hope is a lifeline in our house right now and has been for a few years. I'm guessing hope will remain for years to come.

Our journey continues and hope comes. When we found out our first IVF cycle was unsuccessful (you can read more about that below) we also found out our embryo quality may not be "up to par." That very day we added our names to the embryo adoption list (amazing people donate their eggs, sperm, embryos to be adopted by couples who can't provide one or all of the necessary "ingredients" to conceive).
At the time we were 5th on the list and were told it would be about a year wait.

A week ago we were told that we were at the top of the list and our time had come! What?!? We JUST put our names on the list 3 weeks ago! We haven't even sent the paperwork back yet to officially be on the list! Oh hope, you sure do work wonders!

We received two profiles (descriptions of the sperm and egg donors) and had the task of choosing one. Wow, was this hard! Do we "care" about height or hair color or talents or education? Do we chose the one who is most similar to me or to the hubs? Is there a wrong choice?

We prayed. I cried over each one (big shocker, right). We read every word over and over again. We chose our babies!
There are 5, yep 5, frozen little embryos waiting for me to heal from surgery to come on the journey with us! Not all at the same time, breathe mama I won't be octomom! 5 tiny pieces of hope, OUR hope!!

I wonder what it will be like to carry and deliver a child that is neither Andy or I in genetics but is ALL Andy and I! Oh the hope that I can answer that question one day as I look at our baby!

Hope is beautiful, 5 tiny babies beautiful. Hope is intimidating, more shots and "procedures" and finances intimidating. Hope doesn't disappoint, a door was closed with our first cycle but this door is wide open non disappointment.

Hope just is.....